The World Wants the Fruit of My Trait but Not My TraitWelcome to my blog! This is my new special healing place where we can come and gather together, to share about who we are, and what we’re experiencing in the world. Because I know this is a special place and something to honor and cherish for myself and for all of you, I have been struggling for many months to figure out just how to do this blog justice. And as a result, I had been experiencing writers block. In the meantime though, I’ve had a good dose of humanity, which I can say with confidence has unblocked my writers block GREATLY.
I just got done watching a movie on Gaia.com called Sensitive, written and directed by Elaine Aron, author of The Highly Sensitive Person. Well known singer songwriter, Alanis Morissette, is featured in this documentary, which is what inspired this moment here. She described her earlier career as both a magical and also very difficult time in her life, being caught in between what she knew others wanted and needed of her and what she felt she was capable of.
She used the words “they wanted the fruit of my trait but not my trait.” This hit HOME for me. This feels like the epitome of this entire blog and what it means to me. And this isn’t meant to be a “woah is me” kind of call to action blog, it’s a “look at your secret superpower” call to action kind of blog!
There was SO much that hit home in this movie for me. It anchored for me the facts that the way that I view the world, down to walking down a highly populated loud street, is not a curse, but a superpower. In fact, this highly sensitive nature is found in 15-20% of the population! My entire life journey has been built around my sensitivity, whether you call that “good” or “bad”, I have had a lot of opening experiences because of it.
The people that know me the deepest know that my self identity revolves around this sensitivity, and can be part of my insecurity as well. It can be part of my anxiety, and part of what is hard to explain and reveal to others. How can you, in a world that feels so harsh sometimes, help people relate to your highly sensitive nature?
What I’ve learned is you have to get real with yourself. You may feel very different and even isolated in your life, in more ways than one. You have to let people in to see through your lens even if it’s not their main perception…even if it’s not how they view the world. You have to give people the chance to view even for a minute in a similar way that you do. This can help you to allow others to see all your beautiful colors. I find that for these parts of myself I feel very vulnerable and do not want to show it to anyone. But then as a result become more isolated from the world and miss out on many opportunities to use my secret superpower.
One of the ways that I use my highly sensitive nature is by means of conducting soul readings for people. I’ve done this since I was 16 years old, and I’m now 22. I have always been very intuitive and spiritual, very creative, artistic, musical, and independent. I enjoy spending time outdoors, connecting with nature, and I see the world and humanity in a holistic view. I’m also an Aquarius, for those out there that know those qualities! 😉
From the age of 9 I started to meditate and learn how to help calm my anxiety when I had a tummy ache or was worried after school. I slept by my parents bed for months on end because of my anxieties. The world has always felt a bit much to me. And yet, when I tune into one of my qualities (creative, artistic, musical, etc), I am a ROCK STAR. I really do feel it, and it’s super empowering. By the time I was 16 and I started really getting more into my spiritual life and writing my book Teachings from God, I started to really feel my superpower and less of my anxiety; less of my smallness.
I find that whenever I am growing into new aspects of myself however I am constantly coming back up against this aspect of choosing to move into my superpower consciously, knowing that there are two polar forces of this energy. There are the intense sensitivity hard days, anxiety ridden tummy nights, and also the beautiful moments of expansion, artistry, and spirituality that I experience.
My favorite part of my secret superpower is my leadership quality. I love love LOVE helping heal people. That’s me to the core. Because I’m sensitive and I view every TINY TINY detail of everything of every day, I can pick up the subtlety of people’s energy easily. I can easily be an open ear, a compassionate heart, or a pair of healing hands on call for any friend that needs me. I have a loyal nature to those that I truly care about, and I put a lot of energy into those people in my life.
I want to provide a space here to talk about not just my discovery of what my secret superpower means to me and what I’m discovering about it every day, but to help spark new and useful conversations for you as well so that you can begin to wonder and ponder about how you can be and maybe already are being your most empowered and full self you can be – WHILE offering to yourself and bowing down to yourself in surrender to this energy of sensitivity.
Sensitivity feels like a curse sometimes. Like, a lot of times. But it’s really not. It’s really, really not. I have to remind myself this, sometimes out loud even, (and it happens at the most inconvenient times!) when I’m standing in line at a crowded grocery store, ordering a Chipotle burrito, driving to meet up with a friend and feeling unnecessarily anxious…the list goes on. Superpowers do not come without their teachings, but they have great power when you invest in them.
When you invest in them, you can heal yourself. You can heal others. With my sensitivity I can feel energy easily. I learned Spring Forest Qigong and found it MAGIC right away when I learned it, back when I was 9 years old. I’m still investing my time daily in this practice. And it in return invests in me. I work with my clients to help connect with the voice of their own soul, and unlock the deep layers within their own consciousness. They wonder how it could be so simple…well, maybe it is simply that it is not so magical as it is just a highly sensitive person tapped into a channel that is a finely tuned and well oiled machine.
I love what I do…every aspect. I love helping people. I love feeling the joy in CONNECTION. I want more of it, and I crave it. I also love my alone time and find that to be part of my mediation time. I think that whatever your secret superpower is…you should learn to flaunt it. If you feel isolated, ashamed, doubtful, or anxious about the way you are, you cannot show up in the world the way you were meant to.
If you can at least start with curiosity, you are well on your way. Get curious about yourself. Get curious about what you’re capable of. Get curious about maybe questioning if the part of you that feels the most vulnerable to you is the most powerful aspect that you have to utilize in this life? Maybe it’s your job to give the world the fruit of your trait AND your trait!? Think about it. Let me know what you’re thinking.
If you’d like you check out what I’m up to, or find out more about my book or soul readings, check out my website http://www.courtneyamundson.com!